This post will be relatively short, which is ironic considering the gargantuan length of this film. If you were over the age of five and had a capable brain in 2009, you know what this is. Even if you haven’t seen it, you know what it is. At one point the highest-grossing film of all […]
Mar 20, 2020 • Subscribe
More like this
Day Twenty-Five: Promare (MotM 2020)
Look, everyone! I watched anime again! What a blast from the past, huh? Before I begin, I want to clarify a couple things: This may be a comparison-heavy…
Day Twenty-Seven: Thoroughbreds (MotM 2020)
Another suggestion made by a friend of mine, Thoroughbreds is actually a film I’ve had my eye on for some time. The stellar ratings, adoration for the two young…
Day Twenty-Three: Charade (MotM 2020)
Animal Crossing has sufficiently taken over my soul. Gonna try and get this out before the day ends. I haven’t seen many of Hepburn’s films, despite her notable…
Day Twenty-Six: Ratatouille (MotM 2020)
This post will be fairly short, as explaining the formula employed by Pixar in basically all of their films is immensely tiring and overstated by this point. If…
Day Twenty-Nine: Total Recall (MotM 2020)
I’m very close to the end. The vision is clear. Or perhaps… I’m not close at all, and I never really started. What can I truly believe? Schwarzenegger.…
Day Twenty-Four: The Sandlot (MotM 2020)
Ignorance is bliss. I have been cursed with the knowledge that a large majority of films are problematic in some capacity and now I cannot stop seeing it.…
Day Twenty-One: Fantastic Mr. Fox (MotM 2020)
To commemorate the Wes Anderson style, this post will be short and straight to the point, starting now: March 21st, 2020 Fantastic Mr. Fox is a very charming…
Day Twenty-Eight: The Wicker Man (MotM 2020)
Anyone well-versed in meme culture will know the significance of my choosing to watch this film. Well, re-watch, specifically; one can probably guess the reason I watched this…
Day Twenty-Six: Darkman (MotM 2021)
Superhero films aren’t really my thing. Ever since the giant Marvel superhero craze of the late 2000’s, it’s just been non-stop blockbuster after blockbuster—commercials, sponsors…
Day Twenty-Seven: Penguin Highway (MotM 2021)
As I inch closer to the end of March, my desire to write super in-depth reviews for films decreases dramatically. On top of what I also do for…
Day Twenty: Three Colors: Red (MotM 2021)
Fun fact: Red is my favorite color. Does that mean anything to the quality of this film? Not really. Nevertheless, it’s a good omen. Probably.
Day Twenty-Three: Seven Chances (MotM 2021)
Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin are the kings of silent comedy. They’re the only relics of the silent age I’ll willingly go back to, and since I’ve already…
Day Twenty-Five: Columbus (2017) (MotM 2021)
I don’t know what to say. My mind is a mess.
Day Twenty-Two: Godzilla vs. Mothra (MotM 2021)
Not to be confused with Mothra vs. Godzilla from 1964. This is the version from the Heisei era, because I am a ’90s kid.
Day Twenty-Four: Josie and the Pussycats (MotM 2021)
Yeah, I watched this. Apparently this has something of a cult following? And is actually good? I was intrigued—cautiously, but intrigued all the same.
Day Twenty-One: Barking Dogs Never Bite (MotM 2021)
Will try not to spend too long on this one. I have some other things to attend to.
Day Thirty: Holes (MotM 2020)
It’s late and the head is throbbing. Gonna keep this fairly direct. Fun fact: this was, at one point, my favorite film of all time. No hyperbole in…
Day Five: Anomalisa (MotM 2020)
To this film’s detriment, there was a heavy load of expectations from me going into it. Three film critics whose opinions I trust—for those aware, the three members of…
Day Six: Camille (MotM 2020)
This was another one of those titles that I watched and attached a really high rating to. It’s especially curious because I remember next to nothing about this.…
Day Eighteen: Unknown (MotM 2020)
Coincidentally, there’s a whole lot of unknown going on in the world at present. I wanted to take this short space to wish people a safe and comfortable…
Day Fourteen: Machete (MotM 2020)
I’m not even going to provide a witty introduction this time. My old review’s introduction is all the set-up one needs. I shit you not, this is how…
Day Nine: Crimson Peak (MotM 2020)
One day, I will return to writing longer reviews at decent times of the day. Today will not be that day. From the moment I laid eyes on Crimson…
Day Eight: Hall Pass (MotM 2020)
Somehow, I have even less time than I did yesterday. As such, I’ll try and keep this as smooshed as possible. This is almost like a guilty pleasure…
Day Ten: Fired Up! (MotM 2020)
It’s been talked about a few times leading up to this post: that sort of essence of quality that I saw in my younger days. There was a…
Day Seven: In Bruges (MotM 2020)
Another weekend, another long day at work, which results in a short film review. Only tonight’s special: Daylight Savings! I actually have one less hour tonight to do anything!…
Day Nineteen: The Wave (MotM 2020)
This film in particular was a suggestion from a friend, and as such, I must thank them for their patronage. I very likely would not have seen this…
Day Thirteen: Kamikaze Girls (MotM 2020)
By the time this releases, it will be very late at night. As such, my write-up will unfortunately be very limited. This is such a dumb, but fun…
Day Fifteen: Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (MotM 2020)
Part of me wants to trash this film to kingdom come. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of time left in the day, so all I can manage…
Day Four: Dinner for Schmucks (MotM 2020)
This was the film that made me want to add the stipulation to re-watch films from my Rotten Tomatoes days. Why? Because I gave this an 8/10 nine…
Day Seventeen: The Nice Guys (MotM 2020)
The Nice Guys features two actors that I’m very intimately familiar with. Russell Crowe was the lead in Cinderella Man, which I used to consider my favorite film of…
Day One: Punch-Drunk Love (MotM 2020)
It’s the weekend and it’s late. I’ll try and make this as succinct as possible while also maintaining the critical sublimity I am beloved for! Paul Thomas Anderson…
Day Two: The Green Hornet (MotM 2020)
There are a large number of ways I could start this review. “Hey, I used to really like Seth Rogen for some reason. He played a large part…
Day Thirty-One: Anna Karenina (MotM 2020)
A final suggestion from a friend to cap off this year’s March of the Movies. It’s been a good one, and despite the circumstances surrounding the world, I’m…
Day Eleven: Hood of Horror (MotM 2020)
…………………………………………………………….. I had never heard of this prior to yesterday, gracefully recommended by my brother, whom also had never heard of this prior to yesterday. My brother and…
Day Three: The Mosquito Coast (MotM 2020)
Don’t have a lot of time today, unfortunately, so I won’t get into the kind of detail I’d like to. This is definitely worth seeing, though I believe…
Day Twenty-Two: Night at the Museum (Mot 2020)
This got two sequels. I find this fact pretty amusing. Many years ago, I held a grudge against Ben Stiller. I thought he was a dumb actor that…
Day Twelve: Foo Fighters: Back and Forth (MotM 2020)
If you were to ask me what my favorite band was a decade ago, I would reply, “The Foo Fighters” without hesitation. If you were to ask me…
Twenty Goals for 2020
I’m not a big person for setting goals, well not small ones. I generally have one goal and that is to achieve everything… So, as unhelpful as that…
Day Ten: Rocky (MotM 2021)
If you follow my blog, you’re gonna see a lot of Stallone in the coming week(s). Might be all in a row, might be scattered throughout. But my…
Day Fifteen: Rocky V (MotM 2021)
This is my cover for this film. I’m not even gonna bother with the promotional art. I’m tired.
Day Fourteen: Rocky IV (MotM 2021)
I might just become a Rocky trivia master after watching these almost daily. That, and these films are all almost the same.
Day Thirteen: Rocky III (MotM 2021)
Oh no. Ohhhhh nooooo. Ohhhhhhhh… nooooooooooooooo…
Day Eight: Lady Snowblood (MotM 2021)
Two things tonight: This review will be short and will include a fairly big spoiler. In hindsight, the spoiler isn’t that surprising if one researches this film on…
Day Two: Reality (2014) (MotM 2021)
Y’know that meme that made the rounds a few years ago involving Cole Sprouse’s character from Riverdale going on about how much of a weirdo he is? I…
Day Eleven: Rocky II (MotM 2021)
How do you make a good movie again? Do it over again. But as the meme says, “Yeah, but don’t make it too obvious.” It was a little…
Day Sixteen: Rocky Balboa (MotM 2021)
All right, it’s back to going with the promotional material. What can I say? This one kind of revitalized me.
Day One: Bicycle Thieves (MotM 2021)
Fun fact: finding usable covers for older films in a 16×9 aspect ratio is a real pain. With that said, I unfortunately do not have much time to…
Day Sixteen: (A Chunk of) A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (MotM 2020)
If you were to tell me that I would be able to stomach more of Dinner For Schmucks than this a month ago, I’d probably look at you funny.…
Day Three: Bad Education (2019) (MotM 2021)
As it turns out, my Wednesdays off encourage me to be lazy, so I think I’ll continue that with this review. Will detail some things about what I…
Day Twelve: Tonari no Totoro (MotM 2021)
Brother was not available today, so I went to a back-up plan in the event of a Rocky-less night. For the OG readers of my blog, this may…