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The Anime Maru Office Tour
We at Anime Maru have been in the media business for quite a while though despite all these years many still don’t know much about how the most…
KanColle Season 2 Concludes Just in Time For Nobody to Give a Shit
Studio ENGI’s second season of KanColle, known as KanColle: Itsuka Ano Umi de, reached its long-awaited finale this week just in time for absolutely no one to care.…
Man Starts Watching ‘My Life as Inukai-san’s Dog’ in Desperate Cry For Help
WATERBURY, CT — Local resident Brian Walker, 33, has recently begun watching the anime series My Life as Inukai-san’s Dog much to the dismay of his family and…
Second Season of D4DJ to Not Have Any Actual DJing
D4DJ producer Bushiroad clarified this week that the ongoing second animated series of the franchise, known as D4DJ All Mix, would not be featuring any active DJing. The…
Suspected Chinese Spy Balloon Crash Lands Into Building in Akihabara
TOKYO, Japan – An object suspected of being a surveillance balloon originating from China was reported to have crash landed on top of a commercial building in the…
5 Romantic Valentine’s Day Tips From Evangelion
From the incredible stable mind of Hideaki Anno, Neon Genesis Evangelion was landmark in animation whose influence continues to drive the medium forward. While not directly romantic in…
Top 10 Anime of 2022
There is no question that 2022 was a great year for anime. Fans saw the return of several highly acclaimed series and impressive new seasons of popular modern…
Why Pay $8 a Month to Watch a Train Wreck on Twitter When You Can Watch ‘EX-ARM’ on Crunchyroll for the Same Price?
Following the various sporadic decisions after the acquisition of Twitter by Elon Musk, Crunchyroll reminded users this week that their Premium service already offers a wide array of…
Third Largest Video Game Market Somehow Reports No Recent Mass Shootings
Japan, a country home to the third largest video game market in the world with less than 2% of the global population, has once again reported zero mass…
Omicron Variant to be Surprise Guest at Anime Central 2022
ROSEMONT, IL – Anime Central made an announcement yesterday stating that the SARS-CoV-2 Omicron variant will be making an appearance at this year’s convention. The announcement came as…
Local Cat Somewhat Uncomfortable with Owner Playing ‘Nekopara’
CINNAMINSON, NJ – Household cat Ginger has become increasingly concerned about her owner recently playing the game series Nekopara, according to local reports. Ginger’s concerns initially arose after…
Fans Shocked That FromSoftware Would Release a Bad PC Port
Gamers who picked up the PC version of Elden Ring are reportedly shocked to find the version of the game to be unoptimized and suffering from technical issues.…
‘Nakaimo: My Little Sister is Among Us!’ Arrives Later This Spring
Studio Gokumi has announced that a new anime series Nakaimo: My Little Sister is Among Us! is currently in the works. The series is set to air during…
Weeb Dad Not Sure When to Give Son Talk About Subs vs Dubs
BOZEMAN, MT – Local anime fan Larry Vincent has expressed concerns over when would be the right time to tell his son why anime should only be watched…
“Isekai Convoy” Protests Right to Run People Over in Their Trucks
OTTAWA, Canada – A gathering of thousands of truck drivers, calling themselves the “Isekai Convoy”, has gathered in the capital city of Ottawa intending to protest legislation that…
‘Squid Game’ Extended Universe to Add ‘Squid Girl’
Netflix along with the Squid Game/Olympics Committee today announced that Squid Girl is being added to the Squid Game extended universe, according to a message on a business…
Elon Musk Tweeted so Here’s an Obligatory Article About It
Entrepreneur Elon Musk has made yet another tweet, once again demonstrating the extent of his intellect to the public. The tweet, featuring a character from the anime series…
Heartbreaking: Thousands of Body Pillows Not to Arrive in Time to Provide Companionship for the Holidays
Body pillows, especially those featuring anime characters, are the latest item to feel the pinch as unprecedented consumer demand and the ongoing pandemic continues to stress existing supply…
Twitter Account of ‘Berserk’ Creator Kentaro Miura Promotes NFTs
Fans are both confused and upset after the official Twitter account of Kentaro Miura, creator of the legendary Berserk manga series, began tweeting about an upcoming release of…
US Evangelion Release Replaces ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ with Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’
American Evangelion fans who had purchased the recently released Neon Genesis Evangelion Collector’s Edition Blu-ray are being met with an unexpected surprise. The iconic ending theme “Fly Me…
Hayao Miyazaki Comes Out of Retirement to Make New TikTok Account
Legendary anime director Hayao Miyazaki announced that he would once again be coming out of retirement, this time to create videos on a brand new TikTok account. Miyazaki…
Man Thankful No One at Family Dinner Table Has Asked About His Personal Hobbies Yet
NASHUA, NH – Adam Porter, 27, breathed a sign of relief this evening after having spent nearly an hour at the family Thanksgiving dinner table without once having…
YouTube to Hide Comments From Users With Anime Profile Pictures
Popular video sharing site YouTube has announced that it will soon begin automatically hiding all comments on videos from users with anime profile pictures. The sudden change, YouTube…
Out of Touch Old Man Tweets Anime Video in Desperate Cry for Attention
In perhaps further proof that we are living in the worst timeline, Representative Paul Gosar of Arizona tweeted yesterday a video consisting of altered clips from the series…
Demon Mana Crystal Wages Fail to Keep Up With Rising Cost of Living
Economic outlook continues to look grim for demonic workers with the average cost of living continuing to outpace mana crystal income. The disparity has put significant burden on…
A New Satanic Panic: Mori Calliope and Dangerous Internet Cults
Are your children participating in the dark arts? – a question that might sound almost comedic, but upon further inspection turns out to be the very reality many…
Top 10 Nintendo 64 Games of All Time
The Nintendo 64 made its North American debut back in 1996, introducing gamers to brand new 3D worlds and hosting unique renditions of Nintendo’s iconic franchises. Though the…
‘Uma Musume’ Publisher Reminds Fans Not to Take Horse Dewormer for COVID-19
Cygames, publisher and creator of the anthropomorphic horse girl franchise, Uma Musume, released a public statement warning fans not to self-medicate with the drug ivermectin in an attempt…
Underpaid Animator Not Really Complaining as the Sun Will Eventually Destroy All Life on Earth Anyway
TOKYO, JAPAN – Nakajima Satoshi, 29, stares blankly at his cluttered desk. Alone in a dark office building, the clock ticks towards midnight as he rushes towards yet…
Overflowing Dumpster Mistaken For Latest ‘Kanojo mo Kanojo’ Episode
PITTSBURGH, PA – A shameless public display of trash, previously thought to have been a new episode of Kanojo mo Kanojo, has been discovered to have actually been…
Man Blames Past Pokémon Experience for Crippling Hentai Addiction
INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Michael Fraser, 29, claimed in a public statement earlier today that Pokémon was the main reason for his unhealthy obsession with hentai. Specifically putting blame…
Convention Organizers Hope Pandemic Will Encourage Future Attendees to Take a Fucking Shower
It has been a difficult time for conventions, with many events having been postponed throughout 2020 and even into 2021 as the recent emergence of the Delta variant…
Man Only Uses Epic Games Store to Claim Free Games But Never Install Them
MADISON, WI – Local gamer Evan Kline, 27, added yet another free title from the Epic Games Store to his account earlier today despite having no intention to…
MAPPA CEO: “Chainsaw Man Would Probably Kill Eren Yeager in a Fight.”
Studio MAPPA’s 10th anniversary event saw audience being treated to news and trailers of their various favorite works, including the highly anticipated continuation of Attack on Titan and…
El Salvador Adopts Saint Quartz as Legal Tender
El Salvador has officially adopted Saint Quartz, a premium currency primarily used in the mobile game Fate/Grand Order, as legal tender after being approved by the Legislative Assembly.…
Donate to Our Kickstarter for an Anime Streaming Service that Runs on Cryptocurrency, Fairy Dust, Juicers
Years ago, we here at Anime Maru proudly announced Anime Maru Streaming, a new service that will revolutionize everything you know about watching anime. After delays caused by…
Anime Fan Ready to Get Isekake’d This Season
HAYWARD, CA – Local anime fan Justin Schmitz announced his excitement earlier today for the torrent of new isekai series that he was about get swamped with this…
Kiryu Coco Joins Millions of Graduates Looking for Work
Anime Maru Kiryu Coco officially graduated from Hololive earlier this today, joining the countless number of new graduates struggling in the job market. According to a recent survey,…
Steam Visual Novel Review Consists of Just Link to 18+ Patch
A recent review from user Rikko has been making waves among the Steam community for its brilliant analysis of the visual novel Kinkoi: Golden Loveriche. Consisting of a…
Everything Bookstore Employee Knows About Manga Learned Against Her Will
THORNTON, CO — Theresa Miller, 27, is the resident manga expert at Pages and Things, local bookstore. Possessing nearly encyclopedic knowledge about the store’s manga collection, Miller is…
Respectable Man Prefers Vanilla Tag
Brandon Wood, 24, took to Twitter earlier today to declare his personal preference for “vanilla” tagged hentai. A self-proclaimed connoisseur of adult oriented animations...
GoFundMe: Help Me Hire Someone to Step on Me and Call Me “Senpai”
We all have dreams and often those dreams require us to put our best foot forward. Although in this case I would preferably like that foot to be…
Mario and Sonic Not to Appear at the 2021 Olympic Games
Mario and Sonic will no longer be appearing at the 2021 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo, according to statements from Nintendo and Sega respectively. The gaming icons have…
Man Honors Those Who Sacrificed for His Country by Avoiding Outside World and Watching Foreign Cartoons
BOSTON, MA – Aiden Matthews, 24, honored the sacrifices of past service members today by remaining indoors and watching several hours of Japanese cartoons. The gesture sent a…
Nepcoin Sees Massive Surge After Elon Musk Tweet
Nepcoin has seen a massive spike in value after Elon Musk issued a tweet earlier today, jumping the cryptocurrency up 40% to a staggering price of $0.54 per…
New ‘Battle Athletes’ Anime Makes Otaku Think About Getting DVDs Out of Basement
SYRACUSE, NY– With a new Battle Athletes series out, local otaku Kris Sargent, 30, is thinking about getting her DVDs of the previous series out from the basement,…
Man Reaches Final Form After Receiving Every COVID-19 Vaccine
NEW YORK, NY – A New York man has achieved a state of physical form beyond that of human comprehension after reportedly getting one of every kind of…
Radioactive Water From Fukushima Plant to be Rebranded as Gaming Energy Drink
The Japanese government has announced that it is reversing its decision to dump over a million tons of radioactive water from the damaged Fukushima nuclear plant into the…